Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Family Disease

So I've been a bit busy lately. I am so sick of alcoholism, I've said it before and I'll say it again-It sucks big donkey dick. It just does. It's once again rearing its ugly head in one of my loved ones. My big brother (Uncle Drunkle) is currently in the hospital ICU suffering from alcohol withdrawal. He got there by falling off a ladder on Saturday and has been there since. In and out of the ICU. His head injury that he suffered as a result of his fall are the least of his worries right now. They can't seem to get his blood pressure under control because he is detoxing.

When he was being treated in the emergency room, I had a chat with my little brother and my roomie sister. I started out by saying we all know Uncle Drunkle drinks like a fish. The next think I know, my little brother says "Oh geez, we all know this and we know how far you've come Denise but do we really have to go into that NOW?" I could have slapped him silly at that point. He went on for a minute or so and I asked him if I could finish what I was going to say. What I was going to (and finally did) tell them is that we have to worry about alcohol withdrawal since he's going to be hospitalized for a while. If the hospital doesn't know he is an alcoholic, they can't treat him and it is DANGEROUS. He could DIE just from that, never mind the major bump on his head. Lil Bro apologized and agreed this was certainly something we should mention to the hospital.

So here we are a few days later and he IS indeed suffering from alcohol withdrawal (I DID mention it to a nurse, they already knew!). He is in the Intensive Care Unit and is getting the best care possible. I worry more about when he is released. Is he going to hit a packy and get a six pack and a pack of cigs? I hope not, but it is very likely. I will certainly give him all the support he wants or needs but he does have to want it. He knows I am in recovery, he jokes about it every time he sees me. But to me it is not a joke. He is only a few years younger than my dad when my dad passed away. From heart and respiratory disease-brought on by booze and cigarettes. Same thing, different generation. I don't want to lose my brother, but if he continues this way of life, he is going to suffer the same fate as my father. I can't imagine life without my big brother. He is every ones favorite uncle in my family. All of the kids just love him to pieces. But they too will be crushed if we lose him to this disease.

So when all of my friends here say their prayers, and I know you all do-please include Uncle Drunkle. Pray that this is the wake up call that he needs to begin a new life free from alcohol. I love you guys, and appreciate the prayers........Queen......OUT

Thursday, September 24, 2009

T minus 56 minutes

I finally called the Dr. Good drugs, they are a ' comin'. Taken as prescribed of course!


You know what I want? What I really want?

I want someone to take care of my sick ass. I been down and out about a week and it's gettin' old. I want someone to bring me some really good meds - you know something to make me forget how effin sick I really am. Someone to bring me some goddamn soup. Someone to pick up around here while I'm busy hacking up a lung. Someone to care about me, really care. Care enough to just do what's needed to baby my sorry ass into healthiness. I don't think thats too much to ask. I really don't. waaaaaa waaaaaa waaaaaa...... QUEEN.....OUT

Monday, September 14, 2009

This and That-Update

Here's a bit of an update since I have been suckin at blogging lately.

  • I apologize for sucking lately. I know how I sit on the edge of my chair waiting for all of every one's updates and I'm SURE you have all been the same waiting on the Queen. Yea, something like that. HA!

  • Secondly, I want to let you know that my son is doing FANTASTIC in school. You know, the one where the spec ed department thought was too difficult for him after THE FIRST DAY. Yes, that one. He is doing FINE and really likes it. Sons-a-bitches.

  • Sister is still here, oh and her daughter is here too!!! haha. My niece is 19 years old and is a sweetie and she was having a hard time where she was living, so I have another house guest! WOOHOO. I think. LOL

  • I haven't been to a meeting in about a week and a half and I NEED to go, in fact-I'm gonna finish this and go make a coffee and head out to one tonight.

  • I am not gonna drink, but if I keep this shit up, well the statistics and the beaten down people I see when I DO go to meetings who went back out for more don't lie. I don't want, nor do I need that bullshit in my life again. Oh, HELL NO.

  • If Prince keeps dissin me he will be going to a very special know the one where they lock em in at night-JUST Sayin'.

  • Prince and my nephew (my son from anutha mutha) think lighters are cool and keep stealing them from me. I steal em right back, cause they are to stupid to hide them good enough. Oh, they also think swearing is OK. I do NOT like this age. It suck big ole donkey dick.

  • With that, my friends-I am off to my meeting. QUEEN......OUT

Friday, September 4, 2009

A Second Chance

I had the emergency meeting (requested my me) at my son's school yesterday afternoon. He is going to be allowed/permitted to stay and will be provided with the proper supports that he needs to be successful in their school. It wasn't as easy as that sentence make it sound. I have been doing research online and visiting with a parent advocacy organization that is located 10 minutes from my house. I haven't slept much since August 28th, the day of the fateful meeting. I could do THEIR jobs for them right now, I am so well informed now. I tried to go in to that second meeting without resentment but there WAS a tad I must admit. I bit my tongue a few times, and got a bruised rib or two from the therapist sitting to the left of me when I did not. But in the end the principal of the school said she based her decision on what I had to say and what his therapist said about him.

I think it is a testament to Alcohol Anonymous that I was able to get through this ordeal successfully. First of all without AA I would not be a SOBER mom. I hate to think what it would have been like for the OLD DENISE to have to go in there and fight for my sons rights. Second, AA has given me the tools to communicate what I need or want in a responsible manner and has taught me that it is Gods will that will ultimately prevail. I don't think I can remember praying so hard for anything in a very long time.

Prince wants this in a HUGE way and now he has a fair shot. He knows what is at stake. The principal had a conversation with him after the meeting and he tolerated it well. She handled it(prince) extremely well. She wanted to make it clear to him what to expect in this school (its a tech high school) and what is expected of him. She also told him that they are there for him and want him to succeed, but ultimately it is up to him.

All in all, it was a fabulous day and I slept like a baby. Now I'm up at the crack to see that Prince gets off to school. Guess what, he is up and showered and 100 % ready almost 2 hours before school starts. He is ready to show them he can do this. Amen! QUEEN....OUT