Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Just when you think you've heard it all....

Man Injured After Using Nail Clippers to Circumcise Himself - Men's Health - FOXNews.com
Check this out-Of course he had a few drinks first. He'll be the newcomer walking in hunched over for like the rest of his life. lmao.
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Monday, June 29, 2009

Another Farewell

When somebody dies, a cloud turns into an angel,

and flies up to tell God to put another flower on a pillow.

A bird gives the message back to the world,

and sings a silent prayer that makes the rain cry.

People disappear, but they never really go away.

The spirits up there put the sun to bed,

wake up grass, and spin the earth in dizzy circles.

Sometimes you can see them dancing in a cloud during the day-time,

when they're supposed to be sleeping.

They paint the rainbows and also the sunsets

and make waves splash and tug at the tide.

They toss shooting stars and listen to wishes.

And when they sing wind songs, they whisper to us, don't miss me too much.

The view is nice and I'm doing just fine.

When I lost my sister in 2000 someone sent me this poem and I absolutely loved it and it brought me a sense of peace in dealing with her death. I post it here today in remembrance of my cousin Johnny B. who sadly passed on today. He was 56 years old (young). As you all may know I come from a family crammed full of alcoholics and addicts. Not just in my immediate family but also aunts, uncles and numerous cousins and sadly nieces and nephews. My cousin did not escape the wrath of this effin disease, but he did get sober and died a sober alcoholic. As sad as it is that he has passed on, I am darn proud of him for getting sober and staying that way until his Higher Power decided it was time for that big meeting in the sky. God bless you Johnny.

I sincerely hope that my decision to find recovery will make a difference in my sons' future. In a sense it already has, but I mean later in his life when its not MY decision whether or not he picks up a drink or a drug. With his diagnosis of depression and bipolar, a drink or a drug could certainly put him on a deadly path. This is one of my biggest fears, but I am doing today all that I can to prevent that from happening. The rest is up to him. I hope and pray he makes the right decisions when the time comes.

Long overdue for a gratitude list~Today I am so grateful for-

  • A loving family

  • my son, who seems to be doing well lately

  • my good health, despite still being a SMOKER - that will be next

  • my home group - the best group on the planet

  • jolly time blast - o -butter popcorn. Hell YA

  • my online community of sober bloggers. You all do more for me than you could ever know

  • my job. To think I was going to quit at one point (just to SHOW THEM!) SOOOOO glad I did not do that!

  • a mild summer so far, heat and I just don't mix. It can stay like this all summer and I would be just fine with that!

Thats about it for now, gotta go blast me up some popcorn! Life is good, so good. QUEEN...OUT

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Well hello all, and how is everyone doing tonight? I have been REAL busy - no time to blog since I have been developing my addiction to Facebook games. I seriously need to get a life. Seriously.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Commencement Day

I swore to him I wouldn't have worn curlers, my bathrobe and inadvertently picked my nose at ALL if I could just see my son graduate from Middle School today. He wasn't havin' it, nope. I think this is how he pictured me in the auditorium and he was not going for any of it, not a chance. So my kid "chooses not to participate" in the ceremony that is planned for 11 am this morning. I was really upset about it when he told me the other day. I took the day off without telling him and I really WAS just going to slip in and watch without him knowing I was there(you know so I COULD pick my nose). The he tells me he wasn't "participating"-his words. He said why bother, why would he want to draw attention to himself by going up on stage to get a "fake" piece of paper that didn't mean anything. He is killing me I tell you. I know this is part of his bipolar and depression talking. He is doing way better than he has been, but anything that puts him in the spotlight or makes him the center of attention is off limits to him. His self esteem is in the crapper. Even when we have something for his birthday, he doesn't feel comfortable. Being in a room full of people freaks him out too. J does NOT do crowds. All of this makes me sad, I wish I could make it all better for him. I wish I could wave a magic wand or something and make him well. But all I can do is continue to do what I already have been doing. Continue his treatment and hope that he continues to improve. I insisted that he go to school anyway but I agreed to pick him up early. He was NOT going to miss one more (especially the LAST) day of school. He wasn't happy about it but he did go.

In other news POS is dragging his feet on getting J's insurance from the state. My insurance for his meds is capping out like yesterday and we need this so our son can have his medication. I have called him every day for the past few days and he promised to call yesterday to check on it. It was denied initially and I told him to call them and find out WHY because he definitely qualifies. We have NEVER had to ask for help from the state for anything and now that it is needed they are jerking us around. I see people every DAY who are receiving this and that from this state that do not , or should not be getting the very thing that I need for my son. It is something I need to pray on, and I have faith it will all work out. As long as POS does his part (ooh a phone call) like he said he would.

I stopped typing and called POS while it was fresh in my not so fresh memory and he DID call them yesterday and they said it was going to cost $175.00 per month to have the insurance. I told him its better than the $500.00 co pay I currently pay out of MY pocket and he actually agreed. They are sending him more paperwork and I told him to let me know when it comes in and we will work something out. Now this loser IS on unemployment (like $450 a week) and he has NO bills besides child support that he actually pays. He lives/sponges off of his lady friend. He is supposedly not drinking again. So realistically he CAN afford it. BUT I am going to call the state myself and find out WHY it will be costing so much. For crying out loud, what's a girl gotta do to get on the welfare!

My pharmacist/friend suggested that I call/visit online the manufacturers of the drugs that J is on and they have programs that provide for people who need assistance. I did that and don't see where I qualify for any of that. If anyone knows of any other way to get help, please let a girl know! I'm thinking of hooking up with a wealthy senior citizen with one foot in tha grave but I'm not actually there YET. What we mommies have to do for the well being for our babies, I swear!

Well I must go get ready to pick up my kid. You all have a super duper day and I shall catcha all later. QUEEN......OUT

*UPDATE* Number 2
I just picked up my son and the auditorium was full, the commencement ceremony in full swing. I cried. I didn't let him see that, but it was sad for me. He just couldn't get out of there fast enough. Sigh.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Slumlord Part Deux

So first of all, HELLO all. I have been around but back to work and busy-busy-busy! I have been reading you all. In fact I am getting quite addicted to blogger land here. Not just here but all kinds of blogs. Hell, its better in comparison to what I USED to be addicted to sooooo-I really need to get a damn life. Haha.

So I am gonna include the much anticipated pics that I promised. To be totally honest with y'all I couldn't find the stinkin' camera! This house has been in more of a disarray than usual and I tucked it away so the kids couldn't get their grubby little hands on it and I FORGOT where the hell I put it. I have one good brain cell left and its been on overload lately so forgive me. OK, so while I was going through these pics I was HORRIFIED at how bad things actually look(ed) before the changes I have made. What a fucking dump. These pics depict what I was settling for until I grew a set and said FUCK THIS NOISE and did what slumlord assbag wouldn't. The more I looked the more pissed I became. How dare he deny my request for improvements, wait till you see the before and afters. Keep in mind that these are the immediately before and immediately after shots. Because I am a dumb ass and couldn't find the camera there are no TOTALLY finished pics YET. So here goes, without further adieu.....

Click on any of these to see the grossness up close and personal.

Here is the BEFORE shot of my floor that slumlord wanted to fix by "replacing a few tiles"

I can't believe I lived with that for as long as I did. Now here is the New and Improved Floor during the installation.
Better? You bet your sweet bippey it is. Holy hell what a difference. OK are you ready to see what slumlord thinks is a "new" appliance? Here is the stove. It had NO handle on the door and the seal was broken on the oven so I could not clean it properly. The oven door didn't close all the way either and you can see the burn marks on the inside of the door as a result. I only used the stove top for the longest time. OK here it is-Old stove-
I can hear the gasps and the "ewwws" all the way here. Haha. OK so here is my purdy new one. Nothing spectacular but its pretty new, the price was right (thanks SIL) and its MINE!

Like I said its DURING the floor install so forgive the mess! OK I think I saved the "best" for last. I don't know it's all pretty bad. This is my "new" to slumlord old refrigerator. I can't believe I kept my food in here. Needless to say we ate out quite a bit.
This is a shot of the front. Those brownish marks you see are spots of rust. It was there when I moved in and got progressively worse over time. The fridge was so bad it deserves 2 before pics. The next one is of the bottom of the fridge. ewww.

Fucking Nastiness. So my NEW fridge is SOOOO large I am having a hard time gettin' a shot of it! Here is the best I have at the moment. It is beautilocious! It does everything except sexually satisfy yer Queen. That's a lie, I get all hot when I get near it, I really do. I love it!
I can't even tell you how much happier all this newness makes me. It ain't much but it's mine. And now I have a bathroom to paint. Well it's not as simple as a paint job here in the hood. I need to finish taking the wallpaper off and then do something with the walls. I won't even go into the issues with my toilet. Or my furnace. Or my garage. Or the condition of the outside of the entire house. I will save that information for a later post. So I will close with a pic of the assbag slumlord himself, removing the old appliances. I wonder if he took them home and put them in the wife's kitchen? Hmmmm?? Yea, I don't think so. Have a superb evening you cool ass buncha drunks......QUEEN OUT

Thursday, June 11, 2009

It's Pams Birthday!

I just wanted to wish our friend Pam at Sobriety is Exhausting a very Happy 18th Sober Birthday!! If you are not acquainted with Pam and you are in recovery you need to head over there. You can visit her by clicking on the title of her blog above or you can just click right here. She has a lot of wisdom and she's not ascared to use it! Pam you are an inspiration to me and dag-nab-it I wish you lived closer or vice-verse. Keep on being an awesome chick, we all love you! Yes Sarah, I used dag-nab-it again. (just for you!-smile would ya!).

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Hey Y'all

Its been a bit since my last post, I have been keeping real busy. I got my new appliances and floor (pics soon).YAY! What a HUGE difference in the floor. OMG. And it was so easy to do. Well with my SIL helper it was a breeze. She is a go getter and a good influence for me. Hard to believe that she is POS's sister. She even says so herself, in fact most of his siblings say that, haha. Anyway it came out really nice and I just need to trim it up a bit and done. My slumlord came to pick up the *like new* appliances and I stood in my back doorway taking pictures of him as he loaded them onto his truck. No way I'm goin' on Judge Judy without the proper evidence. See you in court buddy, hehe.

Tonight was the Beach House picnic (aka Woodstock). It actually went quite well. Boy when we drunks sober up we can throw quite the partay! The food was spectacular and clean up is a breeze when everyone pitches in. The meeting was great as always. I am happy to be done with my busy week and back to a bit of normal life.

Speaking of life I have been thinking about how calm and serene everything has been lately. Even with all the chaos last week, all in all I have got it pretty good. I have next to ZERO stress and when I see or hear about someone else suffering I kind of feel guilty. I don't know why, I just DO. Especially when it is someone close to me, like my sister for example. She is going through some heavy stuff right now, but there is not much more I can do. She has to make her own decisions about what she needs to do. I think of the serenity prayer often. Accept the things I cannot change. Acceptance is huge. I KNEW I was an alcoholic, knew I belonged in AA but nothing happened until I accepted it. So it's getting late, I just wanted to check in. I will try to get pics up soon. So adios amigos......QUEEN....OUT

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Checking In

Hello friends-- I am tired as hell and can only stay for a few minutes. Here's what I've been up to the last few days:

  • I am on *vacation* from work-I am very fortunate to have a butt load of vacation time and I am soooo grateful for that!

  • this is a working vacation, but that is OK.

  • I am finally getting off my dead ass, and I feel much better mentally

  • physically however, I do not. I am getting a cold and that's what I get for boasting that I NEVER get sick

  • I helped move my sister-in-law out of her house the last few days, holy hell she has a lot of *stuff*. We got done at about 3 o'clock this morning.

  • even though it was basically just the two of us women moving EVERYTHING including my *new refrigerator and stove*(YAY) we had a blast and I love this girl to pieces.

  • this SIL is POS's sister(and a very good friend of mine), and during the move I got to see and speak his other siblings and I think they no longer think I am such a bitch, or whatever they thought I was. It was nice catching up with them and knowing they no longer hold a grudge.

  • I did get my new appliances, but the are currently in my living room (HAHA) until I get the new floor installed. This will hopefully happen in the next few days.

  • I had a PPT meeting with my son's current school and his new high school team. He is going to a Tech high school and I am very excited for him. He got to sit in on this meeting and I was VERY proud of him, he answered questions appropriately and was on his best behavior for the new administrators. I see maturity creeping up in many ways with him recently and I am very proud of my boy.

  • my son and my son from anotha mutha helped over the weekend with the move. It's amazing what 13 year olds will do for you when you flip them 20 bucks!