Ho Ho Ho we got a LOT of Snow~~~

This is the joy on my son's face that I know is in there somewhere. It emerged when he and his cousin (my son from anutha mutha) buried him in the foot and a half of snow we got over the weekend. Oh how I wish I could see this more often.

They had LOTS of fun in the blizzard, so much so that they *forgot* that I had asked them to shovel my very long driveway while I was at work. Bastids. I said thats OK boys, now the UPS guy will look at our driveway and keep on moving. They will not want to, nor do they have to-navigate my unshoveled driveway to deliver THEIR final Christmas gifts. Save me some money.

I have been working, shopping, facebooking, and oh did I mention shopping? I think I bought myself more than anyone else. I got an electric blankie to keep me warm and some memory foam pillows to cuddle up with that will have to suffice since Queenie is still solo and see no change in that situation any time soon. I am SOOOO OK with that. I love being on my own. No one to answer to, no bullshit. AH, this is the life! And I am sober as a newborn baby-what more can a girl ask for?

Y'all have a nice day! QUEEN......OUT

A Cry For Help

I was leaving my office today when a customer stopped me and asked me if I had a minute. This wasn't just any customer, this was a lady from my past-someone I have seen in the store on many occasions. I didn't think she knew or should I say remembered me. We met in 1992 when we were both in treatment for alcoholism (my very first stab at recovery). I have seen her shopping in my store numerous times and I assumed she just didn't remember me. Well come to find out she does. We sat down and she asked me if I remember her. I told her of course I do. She asked me how I was doing. I told her I was doing fine. She asked me again-"You know what I mean, HOW are you doing, with - well - you know what I mean." I knew what she meant. Was I still sober. I told her I was doing good with almost 4 years clean. She told me she has never stopped using. Sigh. I always saw her and assumed she was doing alright and did not want to approach her for anonymity reasons and I was after all always at work when I saw her. I gave her my phone number and told her to use it anytime. She gave me a BIG hug right there in the middle of the hustle and bustle of our busy store. She absolutely made my day. I feel best when I am helping another sick alcoholic and I think that God put her back in my life for a reason. Maybe some time working with her and not thinking about POOR ME is just what I need. That AND a piece of ass. Or am I asking too much here?

You all have a good night, and thanks for your kind words after my last whiny post. Queen....OUT

Something have GOT to give

I think I will bullet this post as I have random shit to throw out there.

• although I am constantly surrounded by people I feel so very alone
• I am not liking it one bit
• I am OK-I don't feel like drinking. In fact I just got home from a meeting-my first one in about a week.
• I KNOW I need more meetings
• If you try to get close to me, I will go away.
• I have been hurt too many times and I expect that anyone new in my life will follow suit and hurt me too.
• I have issues with abandonment. I get close to another person (male or female-friend or sig other) and I get left or hurt. Always.
• I have been feeling like this for quite some time now and like the title says, somethings got to give-and soon would be nice
• I know it's not going to happen overnight and its going to take a lot of work on my part. But I still want some really good stuff going on - and I want it yesterday.
• I enjoy my life on the outside, but its still pretty fucked up on the inside
• I could burst out in tears at this very moment-but I won't cause I have 2 kids in the room who would think I have FINALLY lost it if I did.
• I will try to write more when I get off my pity pot.
• on a slightly different subject (maybe not) a piece of ass would be nice too, just sayin'

Thanks for listening.....Queen.....OUT