Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I'm feeling so grateful

Today I am so grateful for

  • a loving God who helped me stay away from that first drink today.
  • a great home group! I LOVE my recovering friends so.
  • a new contract at work guarantees me another three years with a great job/great benefits etc. Thank God!
  • a capable vehicle which I used to pick up two of my drunks to go to tonights meeting.
  • the ability to be able to help others.
  • the laughter and the sorrow shared at our meeting tonight.
  • the reminder that its not all peaches and cream in recovery.
  • ALL of YOU.

SWEET DREAMS to you all......QUEEN OUT

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

It's been too long

So I have been away from blogging for about a month, the longest I have been away since I started. I haven't even been reading blogs really. I feel terrible about this and promise to do better.
I just got off the phone with my niece. She has been calling and texting me relentlessly for about a week and I have pretty much ignored her. Why? Cause she's a pain in my ass. Two years ago she angrily told me she didn't want anything to do with me, along with a lot of other hurtful things and I have kept my distance. I have stayed away, just like she asked. Now she's blowing up my phone. What the hell. When I called her tonight she reluctantly told me that she has been addicted to the pain meds she was getting from the car accident she was in just before she disowned me. OY. She has been off of them for 4 days now and she just wanted to talk to someone who would understand. I told her to keep doing whatever it is she's doing and to pray A LOT. I told her I would get her started on meetings. I told her I loved her and would help her. She has an appointment with a mental health clinic tomorrow and I advised her to be HONEST with them. Her mother, my sister, died from a methadone overdose in 2000. Anyone who doesn't believe that this is a family disease is full of shit.
In other news-My son is doing FABULOUS in school and at home. I am so proud of him and all he has overcome. But I can't tell him that because he doesn't think he is doing as well as he is. The self-esteem (or lack of) is still a huge issue, but little by slow he is getting better. We take that one day at a time also.
Sister is no longer living here with us. She just stopped coming here. After a few days I assumed she was staying at her house. That was about a month ago. I guess shes not coming back. She has not come to visit, nor has she moved her things out of my house. Nor have we talked about why she left. She has told me she missed her son and had to go home. That's all I know about that. I know when I was in her shoes I felt like CRAP having to let POS back into my life more than once. I was actually ASHAMED of myself, but I had to do it at the time to get my son off to school at the time. When Prince was finally old enough I kicked that trash out for good and got sober. So we'll see what the next chapter brings in her life. I wish nothing but the best for her.
So I picked up a few more commitments in my meetings. I am treasurer of one, secretary of another and I am leading one also. I need to keep busy and involved.
I am going to try to catch up on what y'all have been up to now. Have a blessed night people. QUEEN.......OUT