Farewell Uncle Donny

Sadly, my Uncle Donny has passed away. Age 54. A damn shame really. Absolutely full of life, always had a robust laugh happening, always made us kids feel special. I will miss him dearly.

As for POS - well I think he's still kickin. I don't know I have not checked. This is how I feel about my role in his latest dilemma. NOT MY PROBLEM. It really isn't. If he happens to die, I will have to deal with it, you know with my son and all. Like I have said before, if he dies and breaks my sons' heart, I will dig him up and beat the shit outta his corpse. I'm just saying people. About 8 years ago he was in the same ICU with pneumonia so bad that he was nearly dead by the time he got to the hospital. He had surgery (a thoracotomy) and was back in ICU for 10 days. It was a difficult time for us, and I was there EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY FOR HIM. He thanked me by screwing around on me 6 months later. Except for a short time, he has been gone ever since. Funny I took the physical blows from him, but when he strayed like that he had to go. He pretty much disgusts me and besides, he has a brand spankin new GF who can nurse him back to health this time. I repeat NOT MY PROBLEM. It has taken me a looooong time to get to this point. I can thank AA and my ever growing relationship with my Higher Power for giving me that strength.

The funeral is on Saturday but I have a spiritual retreat that I am going to attend. I will go to his wake on Friday and right after myself and my girl Val are spending two glorious nights at this retreat. I know my Uncle Donny would have said JUST GO DENISE! So I shall. I got lots to reflect on this weekend, and I can't think of a better place to do it. So that is all for now my cyber posse, have yourselves a great night. QUEEN....OUT

As The World Turns

That's what my life feels like right about now. I just got back from the hospital and my uncle has been moved from ICU to a private room. More privacy for him and his family. I think I heard someone mention that he has maybe 2 more days to live. Incredibly sad.

Before I went to the hospital I was on my way to my Tuesday night Beach House meeting. You know, the best AA meeting ever! Well I got a phone call from my brother. I have 3 brothers, and this one NEVER calls me. So I though oh shit, this is it. THE call saying my uncle had passed on. But it wasn't. He called me and said "you'll never guess who is in the ICU in the room next to Uncle Donny." He was right, I had no idea. It is none other than my ex, more commonly known here in Queens World as POS. I was going to go to the hospital after my meeting but with not knowing why Mr. ex was in ICU I headed over there after making the coffee. I needed to know as he IS my sons dad and if he was on his way out I need to know. So I get there and visit with my uncle and then I popped in on POS and spoke with his nurse. Apparently he fell in the shower (drunk of course) and broke a rib. Well I ask her why is he in ICU for a broken rib and she said he is detoxing (and seizing) and they have to monitor him closely. She was very kind to tell me anything since I am nobody to him, but she knows we have a child together and answered my questions. I guess he's being an ass and giving them a hard time. You know, like we detoxing drunks do! So anyway, I visited with him for a bit and he was pretty sedated but he recognized me and even asked me where his girlfriend/drinking buddy was. How the hell do I know?

I hope this will be his last run but I don't think it will be. He seems to be pretty hopeless. He knows where the meetings are and I hope he does get well, but as we all know it is up to him. But I think its pretty WEIRD that he ended up in there when my family is there as well. He better hope some of my family members don't run into him, cause he'll be staying a helluva lot longer if they do!

I had an odd day. My son went back to school today after having a week break. He got up early with no issues and got off to school on time. YAHOO! That is a major accomplishment in this house these days. So off to work I go. One of my favorite people on the planet was transferred into my store and he started today. He is one of my managers and we get along like peas and carrots, so I'll give that a YIPPEE!
But then I got a phone call from my sister. She tells me that our uncle is in the hospital and not doing well. Shit. He was diagnosed about a year ago with lung cancer. He is not only my favorite uncle on my dads side of the family, but he is the SPITTIN IMAGE of my dad. My dad passed away in 1991 at the age of 54. My uncle is 54. Dammit. This man holds a special place in my heart, and I knew I had to go see him asap. So that's what I did. My sister left work and so did I to go see him and comfort his wife. Seeing that man lying in ICU-the SAME ICU that my dad had been in was just hard to see. He was heavily sedated, when he is not he is pulling out tubes and what not. So incredibly sad. I stopped in the hospital chapel and asked God to be easy on Uncle Don, and please don't let him suffer. So I will continue to pray for him and his family-what else can I do? It just sucks feeling powerless in this dire situation. But that's what I am, powerless. I do have the power of prayer and I will continue to use it and just give it to God and hope he's got his listening ears on today......Queen....OUT