Thursday, June 18, 2009

Commencement Day

I swore to him I wouldn't have worn curlers, my bathrobe and inadvertently picked my nose at ALL if I could just see my son graduate from Middle School today. He wasn't havin' it, nope. I think this is how he pictured me in the auditorium and he was not going for any of it, not a chance. So my kid "chooses not to participate" in the ceremony that is planned for 11 am this morning. I was really upset about it when he told me the other day. I took the day off without telling him and I really WAS just going to slip in and watch without him knowing I was there(you know so I COULD pick my nose). The he tells me he wasn't "participating"-his words. He said why bother, why would he want to draw attention to himself by going up on stage to get a "fake" piece of paper that didn't mean anything. He is killing me I tell you. I know this is part of his bipolar and depression talking. He is doing way better than he has been, but anything that puts him in the spotlight or makes him the center of attention is off limits to him. His self esteem is in the crapper. Even when we have something for his birthday, he doesn't feel comfortable. Being in a room full of people freaks him out too. J does NOT do crowds. All of this makes me sad, I wish I could make it all better for him. I wish I could wave a magic wand or something and make him well. But all I can do is continue to do what I already have been doing. Continue his treatment and hope that he continues to improve. I insisted that he go to school anyway but I agreed to pick him up early. He was NOT going to miss one more (especially the LAST) day of school. He wasn't happy about it but he did go.

In other news POS is dragging his feet on getting J's insurance from the state. My insurance for his meds is capping out like yesterday and we need this so our son can have his medication. I have called him every day for the past few days and he promised to call yesterday to check on it. It was denied initially and I told him to call them and find out WHY because he definitely qualifies. We have NEVER had to ask for help from the state for anything and now that it is needed they are jerking us around. I see people every DAY who are receiving this and that from this state that do not , or should not be getting the very thing that I need for my son. It is something I need to pray on, and I have faith it will all work out. As long as POS does his part (ooh a phone call) like he said he would.

*Update*
I stopped typing and called POS while it was fresh in my not so fresh memory and he DID call them yesterday and they said it was going to cost $175.00 per month to have the insurance. I told him its better than the $500.00 co pay I currently pay out of MY pocket and he actually agreed. They are sending him more paperwork and I told him to let me know when it comes in and we will work something out. Now this loser IS on unemployment (like $450 a week) and he has NO bills besides child support that he actually pays. He lives/sponges off of his lady friend. He is supposedly not drinking again. So realistically he CAN afford it. BUT I am going to call the state myself and find out WHY it will be costing so much. For crying out loud, what's a girl gotta do to get on the welfare!

My pharmacist/friend suggested that I call/visit online the manufacturers of the drugs that J is on and they have programs that provide for people who need assistance. I did that and don't see where I qualify for any of that. If anyone knows of any other way to get help, please let a girl know! I'm thinking of hooking up with a wealthy senior citizen with one foot in tha grave but I'm not actually there YET. What we mommies have to do for the well being for our babies, I swear!

Well I must go get ready to pick up my kid. You all have a super duper day and I shall catcha all later. QUEEN......OUT

*UPDATE* Number 2
I just picked up my son and the auditorium was full, the commencement ceremony in full swing. I cried. I didn't let him see that, but it was sad for me. He just couldn't get out of there fast enough. Sigh.

8 comments:

Gin said...

Hang in there girl! You are going through a lot right now, but know that I am sending you well wishes and support! It is a shame that people that really need help can't get it, but others take advantage of it DAILY! I am sorry about the commencement ceremony. I know you must have been excited! Hold on - tomorrow's a new day! (Full of it's own problems, but you get the point!)

Syd said...

I'm sorry that your son felt unworthy to participate. As far as medications, have you tried Medco? There are other on line pharmacy suppliers that are much cheaper than the CVS, Kerr, etc. drug places. Medications are expensive. Perhaps you could get a generic brand but that will depend on what he takes as meds.

Lou said...

He made it to the finish line..he knows it and you know it, that is all that matters. Maybe with time, he will want to participate more.

Try your county health department. They should know of any drug programs. My county gives out a discount card, saves you 15 to 25% on all meds.

Zanejabbers said...

Your son's reaction to being in crowds or being the center of attention read like anxiety disorder. It's a biproduct of all the other stuff he is going through. he is blessed with a very loving Mother, but when you picked him up, after he got in the car you should have looked at him and said Look Son, as you're digging. I don't mean to be MEAN, just looking for the humorous side. Hope you find a solution for the insurance problem. I have some prayers coming your way.

Cat said...

Gosh I think I understand him. Crowds make me shake. Physically shake...

Usually county health departments have some kind of sliding scale fee, check into what is available for you.

Also lets not lose sight of his success - he made it, regardless of weather he chose to participate in the ceremony - making it was the big deal!

anna♥ said...

Hang in there!!! Love ya, babe!

Patrick said...

ditto on the hang in there comment, and congrats to him on the completion of Middle School. Indeed an accomplishment!

Tall Karen said...

Finally I get a chance to come on over and visit...and to find you're from CT. Both of my daughters are there now. One in Stamford, and one in Greenwich. I visit there 3 or 4 times a year. Only complaint so far were the May flies...yikes!

Thank you for your kind welcome comments! What a great group of bloggers. I'll be back again. Very nice to meet you.