Monday, June 29, 2009

Another Farewell

When somebody dies, a cloud turns into an angel,

and flies up to tell God to put another flower on a pillow.

A bird gives the message back to the world,

and sings a silent prayer that makes the rain cry.

People disappear, but they never really go away.

The spirits up there put the sun to bed,

wake up grass, and spin the earth in dizzy circles.

Sometimes you can see them dancing in a cloud during the day-time,

when they're supposed to be sleeping.

They paint the rainbows and also the sunsets

and make waves splash and tug at the tide.

They toss shooting stars and listen to wishes.

And when they sing wind songs, they whisper to us, don't miss me too much.

The view is nice and I'm doing just fine.

When I lost my sister in 2000 someone sent me this poem and I absolutely loved it and it brought me a sense of peace in dealing with her death. I post it here today in remembrance of my cousin Johnny B. who sadly passed on today. He was 56 years old (young). As you all may know I come from a family crammed full of alcoholics and addicts. Not just in my immediate family but also aunts, uncles and numerous cousins and sadly nieces and nephews. My cousin did not escape the wrath of this effin disease, but he did get sober and died a sober alcoholic. As sad as it is that he has passed on, I am darn proud of him for getting sober and staying that way until his Higher Power decided it was time for that big meeting in the sky. God bless you Johnny.

I sincerely hope that my decision to find recovery will make a difference in my sons' future. In a sense it already has, but I mean later in his life when its not MY decision whether or not he picks up a drink or a drug. With his diagnosis of depression and bipolar, a drink or a drug could certainly put him on a deadly path. This is one of my biggest fears, but I am doing today all that I can to prevent that from happening. The rest is up to him. I hope and pray he makes the right decisions when the time comes.

Long overdue for a gratitude list~Today I am so grateful for-

  • A loving family

  • my son, who seems to be doing well lately

  • my good health, despite still being a SMOKER - that will be next

  • my home group - the best group on the planet

  • jolly time blast - o -butter popcorn. Hell YA

  • my online community of sober bloggers. You all do more for me than you could ever know

  • my job. To think I was going to quit at one point (just to SHOW THEM!) SOOOOO glad I did not do that!

  • a mild summer so far, heat and I just don't mix. It can stay like this all summer and I would be just fine with that!

Thats about it for now, gotta go blast me up some popcorn! Life is good, so good. QUEEN...OUT


Lou said...

People don't know the damage to their bodies from drugs/drink until it's too late. I actually read once that alcohol is the hardest substance of all on the body. May he rest in peace now.

As far as your son, they are no guarantees, but there are no addict "sentences" either. My dad's mother was a stone drunk. He witnessed the craziest shit. Somewhere along the line he decided he didn't want that, and didn't even allow alcohol in his house.

Tall Karen said...

I never imagined that after I got sober, I would be attending so many funerals. Yea, we die young. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful picture of where our spirits go. I wanna believe that.

Gin said...

Wonderful tribute. I am glad that he was able to find sobriety before his death.

sober white women said...

May god give you and your family peace.

Gabriella Moonlight said...

My condolences for your loss...I think that the poem you posted sums up how I feel about loss too; and I am sure that your getting and staying sober now only adds to your sons understanding of life, addiction and recovery.

Great gratitude list...mmmmmm popcorn!


Syd said...

I'm sorry about your cousin but glad that he was sober and had enjoyment of sobriety before he died. Many don't or won't get that chance.

Love your son as I know you do. There really isn't much more anyone can do.

Patrick said...

Sorry to hear about your cousin, but it is great that he was sober.

All we can do for our kids is set the example, guide them on the way, and pray for the best.

anna♥ said...

I needed to read that.

Zanejabbers said...

Loved the cloud story. Glad your cousin found recovery and held on to it. God's blessed him. And you too.