Sharing in Meetings

Back in the day (well the beginning of sobriety-or the beginning of trying to get sober) I would do ANYTHING to NOT have to share at a meeting. I would avoid eye contact with the chair, go off to the bathroom, hide in the kitchen, etc. I was purrrrety good at it too for a while, I must say. That is until my fellow alkies caught on. They would say no not everyone got to share, where is Denise? LOL. I would have to come out of hiding and mumble something or other and then we could end the meeting. Those sons a bitches! Always MAKING me share! Well for a while I was still drinking and going to meetings, so I really didn't have much to share, nothing but my own misery. When I finally surrendered, and actually started working my program and stopped the insanity I was putting myself through-it slowly but surely became easier to speak. GO FIGURE. I know this girl who I actually met in rehab a few years back. She is sooooo much like I was, SHIT SCARED to share. I see the old me when I see her called upon, and I feel for her. I pray it becomes easier for her as well.
That said I am going to a speaker meeting tonight. lol. They USED to be my favorite kind, just sit and listen-but not so much anymore. It happens to be one of the only meeting going on tonight around here, and I need to go. Don't feel like drinking, I just know I need it to keep myself in check. I need to be reminded every day that I am an alcoholic and meetings are my medicine. So I'm off to go get my medicine, Have a great night all......