Monday, January 12, 2009

Sharing in Meetings


Back in the day (well the beginning of sobriety-or the beginning of trying to get sober) I would do ANYTHING to NOT have to share at a meeting. I would avoid eye contact with the chair, go off to the bathroom, hide in the kitchen, etc. I was purrrrety good at it too for a while, I must say. That is until my fellow alkies caught on. They would say no not everyone got to share, where is Denise? LOL. I would have to come out of hiding and mumble something or other and then we could end the meeting. Those sons a bitches! Always MAKING me share! Well for a while I was still drinking and going to meetings, so I really didn't have much to share, nothing but my own misery. When I finally surrendered, and actually started working my program and stopped the insanity I was putting myself through-it slowly but surely became easier to speak. GO FIGURE. I know this girl who I actually met in rehab a few years back. She is sooooo much like I was, SHIT SCARED to share. I see the old me when I see her called upon, and I feel for her. I pray it becomes easier for her as well.
That said I am going to a speaker meeting tonight. lol. They USED to be my favorite kind, just sit and listen-but not so much anymore. It happens to be one of the only meeting going on tonight around here, and I need to go. Don't feel like drinking, I just know I need it to keep myself in check. I need to be reminded every day that I am an alcoholic and meetings are my medicine. So I'm off to go get my medicine, Have a great night all......

8 comments:

big Jenn said...

That's the opposite of me. I ALWAYS have something to say. My opinions are LARGE and by God , you need to hear them! LOL.jeNN

Pam said...

I always pray before I speak in a meeting. Unfortunately that does not always stop stupid stuff from coming out.

Anybeth said...

Thanks for your comment on my blog and thanks for praying for my friend.

Lou said...

From what I have read, you have a lot to share.

Gledwood said...

I went to about 326 na meetings b4 I shared anything... then (just like the drugs) once I popped, I could not stop...

J-Online said...

There's a lady at my noon meeting that WILL not speak. She is court ordered to be there and when she's called on says something like "I don't want to talk...pass" That's all I've ever heard come out of her mouth. I don't think she's scared...maybe resentful.

Gledwood said...

Talking of medicine, I know someone who's on disulfuram/Antabuse, who got "the reaction" from the MINISCULE amount ABSORBED THROUGH THE SKIN off of hospital swabs!

Chunks of Reality said...

I think it's wonderful how you participate in the meetings and get yourself there. Very awesome.