Sunday, July 12, 2009

Something have GOT to give

I think I will bullet this post as I have random shit to throw out there.

  • although I am constantly surrounded by people I feel so very alone
  • I am not liking it one bit
  • I am OK-I don't feel like drinking. In fact I just got home from a meeting-my first one in about a week.
  • I KNOW I need more meetings
  • If you try to get close to me, I will go away.
  • I have been hurt too many times and I expect that anyone new in my life will follow suit and hurt me too.
  • I have issues with abandonment. I get close to another person (male or female-friend or sig other) and I get left or hurt. Always.
  • I have been feeling like this for quite some time now and like the title says, somethings got to give-and soon would be nice
  • I know it's not going to happen overnight and its going to take a lot of work on my part. But I still want some really good stuff going on - and I want it yesterday.
  • I enjoy my life on the outside, but its still pretty fucked up on the inside
  • I could burst out in tears at this very moment-but I won't cause I have 2 kids in the room who would think I have FINALLY lost it if I did.
  • I will try to write more when I get off my pity pot.
  • on a slightly different subject (maybe not) a piece of ass would be nice too, just sayin'

Thanks for listening.....Queen.....OUT


Patty said...

It has to feel better just getting that off your chest. I understand all of it.

Lou said...

Being lonely, even around lots of people, eats away at you. Seeing it for what it is, is a step forward.

You are such a funny, attractive person. You know God has got someone special for Pam says..God is just slow sometimes.

Gin said...

Hey, I've missed you! Hang in there girl. We all have those days, weeks, months...whatever! Love the last bullet. It would be nice if that was all it took right? Thinking of you!

Vivvy said...

I love you

Cat said...

"If you try to get close to me, I will go away."

Gosh this is something I whipser to people in my head...

Thank you for writing it out.

Anonymous said...

hang in there, Queen. Keep praying and keep figuring it out. It'll get better. The Queen rules & don't you forget it!

Syd said...

Queen, maybe try an Al-Anon meeting. Your feelings that you write about have been ones that I've felt for so many years. Finally, thought I'm not feeling that way anymore. I do believe that Al-Anon helps a lot in the realm that you write about.