Monday, August 17, 2009

Back in My Castle


Yer Queen is back home from our mini vacay in Lake George. It was bootyful. They scenery was nice but my son was NOT. I hate to say it like that but dammit if I mouthed off and talked to my mother like he did to me I would be wearing my teeth on the back of my scull. We got our asses beat. Oh yea. And guess what? WE DESERVED IT! There were six children and I don't blame that woman (Mom) for whipping out the paddle when needed. But my friends, it is a new age. We are not allowed to "beat" our children these days. How do I know this? Oh, because MY SON TOLD ME SO! haha.

Son: "If you slap me then I'LL call the police!"
Me: "Here gimme that phone, I'll dial it for ya."
Son: "Nice."
Me: "Then when they get here they can take you away to the land of the foster children, you know the ones that live in a basement and have never heard of Pokemon or ice cream."

Son is only 13. Son is diagnosed clinically depressed with anxiety disorder. Oh AND he is bipolar. And he's 13! I know this is just the beginning of my hell. Oh, AND I am a recovering alcoholic and can't drink over it. DAMMIT.

TO BE CONTINUED: I have to go to the store and get devil child some fruit. There's no ice cream in this castle for misbehaving children. I am such a mean Mom.

Ok I'm back. I went to the store that I spent 8 hours working in today to get the above mentioned fruit and other odds and ends. Like yogurt - and wheat bread. Things that my son needs to get used to eating. He is on 3-going on 4-different meds. One of them makes him crave carbs. He eats NON-STOP. He is gaining weight like there's no tomorrow. So I need to be diligent about what I bring in this house for food. I have been buying healthier food since we got back. A lot of our arguments on vacay were over FOOD. He wanted it constantly. I feel for him. He really cannot help his appetite right now. I know it's driven by the frigging meds he is taking. But its FRUSTRATING to say the least.

Moving on. I received a call from the AA hotline tonight. Someone was in need. I am ashamed to say I ALMOST didn't answer it. I hesitated. Then I remembered that I gave the hotline my number to help another sick and suffering human being. Someone was there for me when I needed help. This is what we do. We pass it on. The last time I got a call from the hotline I ended up talking to someone who wanted me to be their personal driver to get to meetings. I'm pretty sure that's not what the hotline is intended for. So I answered it tonight and was given a number to call. A woman needed someone to talk to. She was drunk as a skunk. Big surprise there! I am going to call her in the morning and possibly pick her up for a meeting tomorrow evening.

She is someone who has been sober for different lengths (years) of time, but thought she could handle "controlled" drinking. Does that sound at all familiar to any of my alkie friends out in blogland? It sure sounded familiar to me! I spent 13 years "controlling" my drinking after my first attempt at sobriety (first rehab) before I finally got sober this time. Oh and what a grand 13 years it was. I had a few realtionships-one which was abusive (POS) I fell off a deck and broke my neck (drunk, of course!) had a baby, lost both parents and a sister, and somehow survived it all. I am grateful to be able to be here to tell you that I got past all that and then some. Lord knows I should have been dead a long time ago. But I am not. I am alive and well, thanks to the fellowship of AA. Oh, and God. QUEEN.....OUT

15 comments:

Hurricane Heather said...

I think we should start a MMC 12 step group - Mean Mom Club.

I am right there with you.

In public, we call it 'chastisement'; at home, it's called 'beating the crap out of you'.

mitch said...

If you don't have a sponsor you really need one. God bless. Peace

big Jenn said...

Glad your back. I have no words of wisdom, probably 'cause raised a girl. 13 is rough, no matter what. Missed ya,jeNN

Queenneenee said...

Heather-I hear ya girl.

Mitch-You're probably right. No actually, you are right. I LOVE it when people tell me what I need.

Jenn-Sorry we couldn't hook up while I was in NY. There WILL be another trip, probably in the fall and closer to you.

Susan M DeAngelis said...

I'll join the MMC, lol. I'm very close to my daughter (now 17) but sometimes she disappoints me... you know, doesn't do things the way I expect them to be done!

Sometimes I shock myself -- the things I say to my daughter.

"Go live on campus," I said. "And I'll get a 1 bedroom apartment where you can send me your bills."

Ah, a definite MMC moment. Sign me up sistas.

Sue

Lou said...

The bipolar meds are notorious for weight gain. And a lot of other side effects. It's a situation where it is so hard to know what to do.

Raising a teenager (and a boy) on your own is tough. Pray...a lot.

Gin said...

Teenagers! My sin is about 2 1/2 years from being there and I am dreading it! Hang in there girl! You'll get through it!

dAAve said...

Having a sponsor has kept me sane (sometimes).

Sounds like your boy pretty much has you whipped.

diane d said...

I'll join the MMC group! According to my 13 yr old daughter, I'm the meanest!!!

Patrick said...

Good for you for deciding to answer that phone!

and hang in there with the teenager...

I miss Lake George.

Mean Mom Viv said...

Maybe they need to adjust his meds? Could be many things.

As a MM myself I dragged my daughter down a flight of stairs & tossed her out of the house barefoot middle of winter for her mouth and attempt to raise a hand to me. Yes, it felt horrible to do it... but, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. She never did it again. It was a rough time thru those years. Raising children is not an easy task. We have to be their common sense because they have none at times. We have to be the bad guy from time to time. They understand it as they get older. I have trouble not assaulting strangers kids in the store when I see them mouth off to anyone... I'm a bitch like that.

Syd said...

Glad that you do the Hotline stuff. I called that years ago when my wife was drunk and crazy. They told me to go to Al-Anon. I wish that I had listened then, instead of waiting. But better late than never...

Cat said...

hey I am so in for the mean mom's club step group count me in!

My oldest is add w/ depression off and on... and it has been difficult. And I am being diplomatic in saying difficult rather than fucking like walking through hell...

Welcome back!

Gabriella Moonlight said...

Oh I so wish if I had called the hotline you would have picked up the phone!

I have no idea about 13 it's hard no matter what or how you look at it, your challenges are quite unique with your son, and I guess saying that loving him isn't that great, but it's what I would do the best I could...

Missed your blog, glad you're back...

Gabi

Bill said...

You know, I work at the local Intergroup office, so I get calls from people wanting rides. I screen them.
"Oh, good news! You're on a bus line. You don't need someone to give you a ride." Some people are too good to ride the bus.
"No, you don't get to pick the meeting you get a ride to. If I can find a ride for you, you'll go to the meeting they plan to attend." Some people think we offer a free point-to-point taxi service.
We have so few people who are willing to give rides - it's shameful - so I gotta be sure the rides go to folks who really need them.
I'm glad you are willing to help out where it's needed. It's important service work.