Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Just Because the Monkey is Off Your Back...

SO does not mean the circus has left town.

Peanuts, popcorn....get 'cher popcorn, peanuts here!

First of all THANKS TO ALL OF YOU, for your comments, support and prayers and love and EVERYTHING-always-but mostly after my last post. I want to get y'all up to speed on how J is doing.

He is STILL angry! But not as bad. Together with his pdoc we are taking him off of lamictal, which is the med he started about a month ago(when the ANGER started). I already knew this and have been slowly weaning him off. Which is BTW the exact same thing I suggested at our last appt. with pdoc. It didn't happen then and when I saw he was getting worse, I reduced it. I read up on all his meds and I know how it needs to be done. I am NOT Dr. Queenie, I know this. But when I called her, GUESS WHAT SHE TOLD ME TO DO? Decrease the lamictal for a week (um, yea-done) and then take him off. So today is the first day I won't be giving it to him. We will see how he is in the next few days. I took the week off of work to keep a close eye on him. Thankfully, he is off from school this week. What a shitty vacation for him, poor kid.

On the plus side, I have been a nervous wreck BUT when I am like this I CLEAN. I USED to drink, but now I clean. My kitchen is looking pretty spiffy. I am like a madwoman, but that's OK. It needed to be done, trust me, lol. In fact I got so IN to it that I went to set my timer on my microwave for something and it said 3:05 and I went to reset the time-looked at my kitchen clock and guess what time it was, 3:05! Fuck me. I thought it was like noontime, at the latest. Time flies when the circus is in town kids.

Ok I had to stop and wash my floor, but I'm back. Lost my train of thought a bit but with only the one brain cell I have left, its fuckin hard as hell to multi-task. I have been drinking so much coffee that the Starbucks stock had to have taken a hit today.

More good news. A family member approached me about going to an AA meeting for the first time. YEAAAAA! How sweet is that! He is supposed to come to a meeting with me tonight. My home group. So there are plenty of guys I can introduce him to, as well as be there for him through his first meeting. I have been WAITING for this to happen, and I am sooooooooo happy that he talked with me yesterday and said all the right things about why he wants to take this step. Hiding bottles, isolating, anxiety, health reasons, the insanity, the not being able to control it himself, etc. You know all the same reasons why we all (well, me anyway) surrendered. This makes Queenie a very happy girl.

See, even though I'm in the middle of a bunch of bullshit (that shit fairy NEEDS to move on for the love of GOD) there is still some pretty positive and uplifting stuff going on here. I am trying to ease my sons' pain and hopefully tonight my brother-in-law will begin to heal his troubled life. Things are looking up, the glass is half FULL. I always try to look at things optimistically. <---Is that even a word? Spell check will let me know. I think it is. lol. So I must go for now, I have brownies to bake for my fellow alkies in recovery tonight. I am the snack chick and I don't want them to go all crazy on me if there are no goodies. Boy, I can't wait to see BIL(brother-in-law) pick up a 24 hour chip tonight. With Gods help, anything is possible. He has definitely got my attention and I hope he's got my back. Thanks for the prayers. Queenie OUT


Zanejabbers said...

That is so good news on J. It's a blessing he is home this week and won't have to worry about what "they" will think. I've got a contract out on that damned ole
"shit fairy." Maybe I need to get
Dog after him.

sober white women said...

Will you please tell the shit fairy to leave me alone as well?! LOL
Life is good because we are both still here.
Stay strong my friend.

steveroni said...

What a thrill, to be at one BIL's first AA meeting! (I already forgot what the first part of your blog was about...but that's MY problem.)

I'd sign this but cannot remember who am I? -grin

Fortunately, there is automatic naming on these blogs!

ac said...

I think you are amazing. :)

ac said...

oh.. in case you come by my place and wonder where I've gone. I had a snafu. I'll be back. :)

Rhi said...

i think cupid should shoot the shit fairy with an arrow and maybe we'd all be happy. =)
hope your son is doing alright. when i was little i discovered doctor mom knew much more than the doctor's with a degree. sounds like it still holds true today. i'll be back to your blog soon. =)

FrankandMary said...

Before I started journaling in 2005 I used to read a blog.....then it disappeared, I came upon this thinking you were THAT person, now I don't think so. ANYWAY, quite an entry to "happen upon." Sounds like a terrible vacation indeed. I clean like a demon when faced with adversity also. And yes, there is a lot of positive and uplifting things in the entry, even the parts of it that don't seem like they are. ~Mary

Gledwood said...

far better to have a kitchen looking spiffy than spliffy~ that's for sure!

Indigo said...

Great news on sharing that first meeting with BIL. Sounds like your definitely on top of things with your son. I know all too well about cleaning to work our whatever was going on in my head. It was how I got through those first few months of sobriety and I still fall into that habit when things get complicated. Whatever we need to do not to drink, right? (Hugs)Indigo