Monday, December 15, 2008

Daddy WHO?

Anyone else out there have a baby daddy who doesn't give a shit about their kid? Yea- I thought so. I just DON'T GET IT. How can someone bring a beautiful being into this world only to do as little as possible to nurture and raise your own flesh and blood? I want to say that it is a guy thing. But that is not true, there are many men who are raising children on their own, while baby momma is off "living" her life. So then what is it? What makes a person not want to see their own child? What makes them want to do ANYTHING BUT do the right thing and at least call their son?

My Son's dad is a fucking loser. Sorry, it is what it is. He is an active alcoholic-so that is his priority at the moment. That and he has a new female alcoholic to play with and that is all he needs. A bottle and someone to screw. Not that I mind, now he leaves me the hell alone! J's birthday was a few weeks ago and I knew we would probably hear from him. The phone call came when J was in his room and his cell was in the room with me. Mind you, it was like 8pm on his birthday. I answered it and told him NO you may NOT speak to J, I will NOT ALLOW YOU TO FUCK UP HIS BIRTHDAY. My son was having a good day, it was almost time for bed, and I didn't want that phone call to ruin it. He hadn't seen or spoken to his father in at least 3 months. I told father he needs to at least CALL him to re-establish a relationship with his son. Then and only then would I allow it to continue-if that's what he wanted. To date, he had not called J.

Not that I deserve Mother of The Year award. I was an active drunk for the first 10 years of my sons life. BUT, I NEVER abandoned him, I was always here taking care of him the best I could. The best I could do was not always the best for J, but we somehow got through it all and are doing pretty well now.

So the missing daddy thing shouldn't be a big shocker for me. Loser has two other children from his first marriage, and he abandoned them and still ignores both of them to this day. He even has a grand daughter that he hasn't seen in months either. I JUST DON'T GET IT.

When we are out there active, we only care about ourselves. Our booze comes first, everything else doesn't matter. I keep trying to remind myself that it is his disease. It probably is, but I was always here for J. I JUST DON'T FRIGGING GET IT PEOPLE!


Lou said...

I've not been in your shoes, so I don't know if I should comment. From what I read I think maybe I would have let him talk to his Dad.My husband's dad left him & his 5 brothers when they were small. He says he dreamed for years about him calling or sending a birthday card.

God Bless you for getting sober & taking care of your son.

Queenneenee said...

I thought about it after, and maybe I should have let him say Happy Birthday-He always promises him the world and never comes through-I didn't want my son to have to endure that AGAIN.

Pam said...

my ex always promised the world too, as the years went on the kids began to understand everything about what he stood for without me ever having to say a bad word about him. I let the ex reveal whatever "self" he wanted to - to them. They ended up loving him flaws and all which is very healthy for them now. They don't really want him in their life, but they can love him from a distance and so now they don't carry any malice in their hearts for him. And the best part is I never had to say a word. His words (and lack of them) told the story to them first hand. Well, that's just what worked for me.

Cat said...

How tragic. I wish people were different at least for their children. Trust me I have done a ton of wishing over the years.