Why must people be so fucking stupid and insensitive? Anyone???
My ex *step daughter*(Lucy) is in town for her wedding. They arrived here in town on MONDAY. Today is THURSDAY. The day before the wedding. They have NOT TRIED TO CONTACT my son at all. These my friends are some fucked up people. When Lucy and her baby left to move to Chicago in January my son was CRUSHED, devastated. She knows this. Lucy and I have discussed this. The baby was only a year old when they left. His first and only niece. Yet they arrive here in town and don't even call him to come and see her. I am beyond pissed.
So I call the Aunt from Hell (POS sister/not his NICE sister my BFF) today and ask her if my son can go with them to the wedding so I know he has a SAFE car to ride in. I specifically ask her EACH AND EVERY TIME he visits over her house not to let my son in any motor vehicle that POS or his new lady friend are driving. It is not a catty thing it is about safety. They are both active alkies and she is a third off the fruit rack as far as I can tell. Not that I don't have my own issues, but I don't know this new person and I am the mom and they should respect my wishes.
Aunt from Hell proceeds to say sure he can have a ride, and can he come over tonight because we are having a barbecue/rehearsal dinner thing. Now I KNOW that if she never heard from me today, my son would NOT have received an invite for tonight. That is part of why I am livid. He should have been called DAYS AGO to be able to visit with his Lucy and the baby. That is how NORMAL, CIVILIZED people do things. I am civil with these people for my sons sake but let me just say at times like these yer Queen could just flip the fuck out on all of them. I won't but I want to. They have no regard for peoples feelings at all. A 13 year old's feelings. It makes me ill.
So Aunt from Hell proceeds to tell me that I need to give POS a chance. As in let him drive him. I say uhhh NO. He has been sober like a minute and a half maybe and that is so not long enough for me to be giving him a chance WITH MY SONS LIFE for fucksake. Again I say, what the FUCK is wrong with people. I thought about it later, but I should have asked her if she would let HER SON in a car that he was driving. I know she would not. Then she went on to say "Well maybe he is afraid you will call the police on him" WHAT? I responded "Well the only time I have called them in the past is if he was punching me in the face or had his hands around my neck." I called the po po when I was getting the shit beat outta me you stupid bitch is what I wanted to say. What a dumb bitch. And this is the sister of his that I thought had a lick of fucking sense.
I just don't get people that can't understand normal thinking. My son KNOWS that they are here in town. I KNOW it hurts him that he hasn't been called. We have not discussed it because: A. He has not brought it up. B. I don't want him to hurt any more than he already is, so I don't want to bring it up right now. and C. I'm too pissed at those insensitive assholes to have this conversation with him.
FUCK ME.
I'm going to a speaker commitment at the men's treatment center again tonight. It will get me out of the house and get my mind off of this bullshit and hopefully will help me to remember the good stuff I have to be grateful for. QUEEN.....OUT
11 comments:
This is sure a hot summer.
Nothins hotter than you dAAve
Queen, I think that I would withdraw from the entire wedding since it appears that these are not particularly mannerly people. I would not want to be where I was not invited. This weekend is about the bride and groom. That is the only thing that is being thought about. I'm afraid your son is lower down on their list of priorities. Sad as it is.
I'm sure it hurts your son's feelings, but it sounds like they're hurting you too. Just sayin'.
My thought is, since these people are obviously screwed up, why are you so adament that your son is around them at all.
Maybe God is taking care of things.
Just because people are related to me, does NOT mean I hang with them. Fuck 'em all!jeNN
I used to try to participate in insanity for the sake of my family and the kids especially because I thought it was better for them.
I found out I was still trying to control and manipulate based on my perception and ideas.
I'm really really glad that I found Alanon and AA both. They continue to show me where I'm absolutely BAT SHIT crazy.
I can't tell you how much I used to do to try to make people behave, fix relationships between my family members (especially my nieces and sister) I tried even with my husband and his kids and his ex for a while, but all to no avail and truthfully everyone got much healthier and more loving the minute I took my hands off of them. They participated out of love not sheer force of my bullying will. God has this strange way of allowing out of sight and out of mind to become ok and he fills in the gaps with other interests and other people.
I'm way sick when it comes to relationships.
I look to all of you wonderful bloggers for perceptions different from mine and am really grateful to find that you all assist me daily in the process!!!
Thank you so so much for continuing to write and share your experience!!! You have no idea what a blessing it is to know that we continue to be a fellowship who are striving to become better!
I really really appreciate your post today! It hit me in the gut..and made me realize how lucky I am that people participate with me around at all...I was so sick for so long, and I still am quite dis-eased in some situations and relationships!
Jenn and Syd make awesome points... I'll have to absorb those too...
I'm with Syd. It is very sad that they are thinking of no one but themselves. I say screw it and both of you go to the beach or something!
Um...hello!? You're really expecting decent, thoughtful behavior from this family of lunatics???
Now who sounds crazy?
Let it go, girl, and be glad you're not still in the family circle. Your son is growing up, and he will start to see why you removed yourself from those folks.
Hi, I'm new here but I agree with big Jenn. I am having the same trouble separating my kids from my former family and their wild ways and feelings are being hurt. But it IS for the best.
I have family I have not seen and won't see in my future any time...we are related that is it...it's hard to let go, but you know if they are not mannerly at all and not anywhere near being reasonable then maybe you just need to move away slowly and get back to your own life with your son.
I met my father when I was 11 years old, i stayed for three days out of seven, called my mother and hopped a train home..even i knew at 11 that he was a big ol POS and so I think your son will understand.
Hugs to you
G
1st off I LOVE the "CUNT" comment! I WILL be using that in the future!
What can I say be people fucking SUCK ASS and that's why I have a VERY small group of people in my circle.
Keep your head up and stay safe!
Stay up
Although you worry for your son would you rather they had an influence on him more often? The morals and family values they hold and could possible share with him ... eh? Pass down to him? That's more frightening to me really. Yes, I understand you hurt for him. That's a mothers love. As he get's older he will form his own opinion and come to his own conclusions. He will surround himself with those who matter to and are important in his life. He will be a better person for the lact of "quaility" time with such people. He will be ok I promise and so will you. It's really their loss.
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