aaah this is the life...

I sit here wanting to write about a certain subject and as I sit at my desk I take a look to the right and I see a darling, absolutely adorable picture of my son taken when he was about 7-8 months old I suppose. Cutest baby in my world anyway. As I look a bit closer I see it.

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If you look at the wall (its not in the pic) around this "target" of someones fun you can see where they missed a few shots before they hit pay dirt. I just love raising boys. By boys (plural) I mean my own son and my son from anotha mutha-my nephew, the Bubsta. This deed has definitely got both of their stink all over it.

And then there's the "blob" stains that live on my living room ceiling. I had a halloween party and gave the kids these gooey eyeballs to play with. Its no wonder they were squealing with delight--out of sight in the living room--as we adults were sitting in the kitchen doing what adults do. Ignoring the children. Yep. I guess I totally asked for that.

Oh, and then there are the HOLES in various walls throughout the house. Holes that were mostly made while my "sons" were screwing around. Its all fun and games till someone goes through a wall. Then there's the fits of anger that my birth son has when he is goin' all bipolar on me. Did I mention I RENT this house? Oh yea-I gots some SERIOUS fixin' up to do when I move out of here.

The destruction isn't just for the house, my furniture is not immune from their wrath. I have a brand new recliner-well new at the time-that got ruined because these TWO rather LARGE boys decided to see if they could BOTH sit in it together, at the same time and they practically split that fucker in half. Yep. Our most recent incident was a few weeks ago when I came home to find my new futon busted with part of the frame BENT and broken. But no one would fess up to that one. It just BROKE ALL BY ITSELF. Riiiiiiiight. I am proud to say that I Queenie, fixed said futon ALL BY MYSELF. It wasn't an easy task but dammit I was determined, even made a trip to Lowes to get the right tools and proper screws and *wallah* just like new. Sadly, the recliner is beyond repair.

There's one more thing that drives me batshit crazy about these kids. My son has been BEGGING me for the longest time to get him an air soft gun. Long story short, I finally gave in. Now this is definitely an "outdoor" kinda gun. It kinda like a bb gun but is shoots these little plastic pellets, not the metal ones. I'm sure they could still shoot their eye out but hey, a boys gotta have fun, right? Well while momma was a work one day these sweet innocent little tweens decided to have an "air soft war" INSIDE my house and now everywhere I look, I see these these........

That little green thing is the "ammo" for the air soft gun. They are EVERYWHERE. Inside my shoes, inside Kleenex boxes, you name it. Ever have a New Years party and at midnight you toss confetti and you're still finding it on the Fourth of July? Well I have and that's what it feels like when I keep finding these little green presents. When you step on them it feels like someone just jabbed a knife in the bottom of your foot.

When all is said and done, I would not trade all of this for anything. I wasn't even supposed to be able to procreate, and look at me now! He was definitely a blessing and if not for him in my life I honestly don't think I would have cared if I lived or died while I was out there all effed up and killin' myself. I knew that if I didn't get better, he wasn't going to either. I finally surrendered on November 17, 2005. Ironically, this also happens to be my birth sons' actual birthday. I don't ever want to screw that up, and now I know I DON'T have to! Queenie OUT